The Stages Of Grief: Back To School Edition
Hi,
Is it just me, or do you feel a sense of grief when August arrives? Even if it’s long past the time when I was in school, back when I would buy pencils and an agenda and worry about what to wear on the first day of school. Though schedules change very little now that summer break is a coveted memory of youth, August ubiquitously feels like the start of an end.
The ending of summer begins with an AC unit. I once sat around the window unit, exhaustedly fanning my dewy face as it racks up my electricity bill. And on days when the temperatures surpass 90, I'd nearly pray to it.
The summer heat in New England explodes like a firework, this sudden burst of all-consuming warmth becomes life's main fixture. I can’t go anywhere without commenting on it, thinking about it. I feel it in my bones, all senses are affected. Whether it’s tasting the sweat from my upper lip or feeling the prolonged slap on my shoulders from a careless sunburn, the heat is always present. And just as temperatures reach its most unbearable peak, a summer storm rolls in and kills the heat. Like a firework, the heat burns so strongly only for it to fade so quickly I can hardly remember it was once so potent. So I prop the window open to let the fresh breeze in, no longer needing my AC. This is the first sign of the end.
Soon, the sun sets earlier and earlier each day, and by only August 3rd it’s the last day of the year when the sun sets after 8pm.
August is a shift in time, a shift in seasons. It’s an end of a daze, a daydream interrupted.
Welcoming the fall isn’t always easy. In my opinion, it’s a process similar to the stages of grief.
When I was still in school, the stages of summer’s grief would look similar to this -
The Stages of Grief: Back to School Edition
Stage 1: Denial (usually early August)
Nope. I don’t care what the calendar says. Summer IS going to last forever. I still have so much time left and I’m not even thinking of the fall. I’m just living in the moment and I couldn't care less about what is to come.
Stage 2: Anger (when the first back to school ad pops up)
Summer started two minutes ago and now all of a sudden I have to start thinking of going back to school? That’s insanely rude and honestly, disturbing. I’m sending my school a cease and desist letter. I simply do not want to know my schedule, when my start day is, nothing.
Stage 3: Bargaining (mid August)
Okay, even though the end of summer is coming, I can at least use fall as an opportunity to completely reinvent myself. This fall I’m going to be productive, social, and look hotter than the sun. I’m going to wake up at 5am to go for a 5 mile run, get straight A’s, eat healthy, save the whales, make a ton of new friends, and do this all while partying until the sun comes out. I don’t care if I have to burn the candle at both ends.
Stage 4: Depression (last week of August)
It’s one week until school starts and I have to go shopping, see my grandma, have one last summer blowout, earn $10,000, get a manicure, do 40 loads of laundry, pack my things, when all I want to do is lie in bed and do nothing.
Stage 5: Acceptance (September begins)
Well we’re back and I can’t do anything about it. As much as I want to make time stop, I can’t. Funny how it works like that. But it’s not too bad, it’s actually kind of nice to see people I haven’t seen in awhile and I’m feeling more prepared than I thought. Sure I’m a bit stressed and no, I probably won’t be waking up for 5am runs, but I think I’m going to be okay.
Do any of you relate to these stages of grief as the summer dips to fall? I would love to know how you’re feeling this time around. But first, here are some writing prompts to get you reflecting on the end of summer -
What did you learn about yourself this summer?
What occupied your inner monologue in the summer?
What do you hope fall will bring?
How can you make time for yourself this fall?
Let me know how it goes. Wishing you the best of summer's last fireworks.
With love,
Emily